Steal My Deal

Self-improvement is a continuous process for me. Is a life long commitment and never ending tasks for self-growth? It may sound as a complex topic of discussion for others but it is the simplest one for me.

Self-improvement starts from within. It starts by one self’s willingness for self growth and to improve his own personality and explore further to know his self and find ways to maximize all his skills and talents and bring and use it to greater heights.

Improvement of one self’s is a self guided choice and cannot be forcefully employ to someone else unless it is willingly accepted and embraced by the able body who hungers for the need to improve and is motivated and aim to be someone better than anyone but himself.

A person needs to improve himself better to be able to cope up to the fast paced ever changing environment both economically, intellectually or emotionally, most frequently with a substantial desire to be better and highly motivated mentally and spiritually.

One’s desire for self-improvement is more often driven with the hunger to overcome fears, reaches our goals and life’s ambitions, achieve self-reliance and build our self-confidence. The basis of helping our self to do it all is often finding all available resources as much as possible like being prepared with all information and not being ignorant about certain things, joining support groups and opening more to our own set of friends and willingness to meet new ones by exploring and expanding our social circle one step at a time.

We could always consider everyday and every day events as an opportunity to improve ourselves and learn to deal with things, as we grow older and wiser, regardless of our age, gender, and stature in life and to what ever situation we are now. Self-improvement is a powerful tool that we can use to better our lives and ourselves. Never stop craving for it and continue to learn and embrace it and surely things will work perfectly well for all of us if we have it within us.

Negative thinking results in destructive feeling. As you continue to dwell on the negativity in your life, it becomes a pattern. From the minute you wake up, your thoughts and emotions become automatic because they now have control over you.

How to eliminate the negative and destructive patterns of thinking and feeling.

You have to start asking yourself some important questions. You should ponder about how you have been using language on yourself, look at what you do to put you in a certain state and what’s been going on in your head. This means you have to put yourself in a state of awareness. Once you observe and notice what’s going on inside, you will learn to understand yourself and your feelings. You are then able to alter your thoughts which will affect your emotions and your behavior and attitudes.

You have to practice breaking your destructive thoughts and pictures. You need to listen and watch so that you will notice. When you notice them showing up, immediately interrupt. You interfere by asking some ridiculous questions, playing around and manipulating the pictures in your mind or changing the meaning that you have been accustomed to. Do this often enough and you will begin to alter your automatic state of mind and develop a different mindset.

You put yourself into a certain state of emotion when a particular memory or experience shows up. When you remember something pleasant, you will automatically put yourself in a resourceful mode. When some unpleasant pictures pop up in your mind, you react according to how you have learned to do without thinking. Why not recall more of the pleasant memories so that you can put yourself in a state that will inspire and motivate you to do and dare. It’s all about choice.

How you feel in the moment has a lot to do with the pictures and dialogues going on endlessly in your head. Anything that has happened on your outside world has passed. What remains is your recollection. Most of them are repetitions of what you have seen, experienced and heard. Others are what you create. You can change and manipulate the pictures or the meanings because they exist inside where you have total control. You can do anything you wish with the pictures and the dialogs. Your ability to master this will enhance your life.

It happened on Saturday morning, while I walked around
Bonclarken Lake across from my home here in the North Carolina
mountains. It was a bright, brisk and beautiful spring morning,
with an edge in the air I could almost taste and could certainly
feel.

It started innocently enough with my walking with my
Aussie/Border Collie mix dog, Lady, reciting my “purposeful
prayer.” But then it happened. Suddenly I found myself giving
thanks to, well everything. To life, to love, to the love of my
wife, Ann, and my daughter, Amber. To having a job where on a
fairly regular basis I have the opportunity to make a
significant difference in someone’s life, and on more than a few
rare occasions even a profound difference. To the incredibly
beautiful, colorful, sensory enriched world in which we live.

The list went on and on, and the more I counted my blessings the
more purposeful, passionate and playful I felt. What a way to
start off the day. What a moment. What a life.

That’s it from Flat Rock NC where it’s another beautiful day in
Paradise.

©2005 Brad Swift of Life On Purpose Institute, Inc. This article
can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article
and this resource box are included.

It has been said, “The truth is out there”.

There are forces at work in our lives every day. Forces which will stop our progression, and positive forces which will move us forward from day to day, from success to success.

Threaded closely within them is a secret. A secret that tells us that if we do not act, we will be acted upon.

Regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the outcomes, we receive what we have chosen to receive.

We may not get what we deserve, but we do get exactly what we want.

I will not go into a discussion of “the secret”. That is better left to others who have applied extensive research and reported their findings. I would recommend the website www.thesecret.tv for an in depth discovery of one of the most powerful secrets of all time.

I do know it works.

You will learn that “coincidence” is more than blind chance.

I have applied, in a small way, a portion of the secret to test it for myself.

(1) I had been thinking about my youngest sister and how I hadn’t seen her for awhile. I thought of how I wanted to share with her something I had learned. She also had access to the maker of the most awesome southern barbeque sauce I have ever tasted!

She showed up last night, unannounced, with two bottles of BBQ sauce and we talked for an hour!

(2) I was thinking recently that I have never really been impressed by any one particular automobile before. Then I saw one, yesterday, that I have never seen before or heard of. It caught my attention immediately! It was a small convertible sports car. I got real excited and looked it up online. I want the model with the red body and tan interior. It has a 2.4 litre engine and an optional automatic transmission. Now I just need to go test drive one.

(3) I didn’t have time for breakfast this morning. Someone handed me a bag at work with a breakfast sandwich in it, saying that they thought I might like something to eat.

Think about it.

There are forces at work out there. Forces for good and forces that challenge our capabilities. We can choose to act or be acted upon. Whether we believe them or not, they are there to instruct us. We have the choice of instructional method: We can become the victim or the victorious.

Truth is out there. But only if we are unafraid of truth will we find it.

There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual. Actually, the use of coaching skills doesn’t always have to be driven by problems. Challenges, opportunities, and obstacles that transcend any one member of the organization can be the motivating force. This type of coaching is very exciting to do. It is less personalized in nature and therefore not as stressful or tense. Although it does require certain skills, mindset, and approaches used in problem solving, it can be applied to positive coaching, which is designed to empower employees to go farther and contribute in new ways.

We have found it hard to motivate some leaders to take responsibility for positive coaching seriously. Many leaders tell us, “I don’t have any problems with my employees. They are all good people, they work hard and pull their own weight, and frankly I can’t think of a thing I would change or talk to them about.”

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard this comment, I would be basking in the sun on an exotic beach rather than writing this article. Managers think they are “off the hook” because they see nothing to change, correct, or improve upon. They couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, these fortunate leaders need to be as active in their coaching role as in the leader who is beset with enormous problems. In fact, wise leaders are extremely active when things are going well. They coach and confer with employee on how to maintain and sustain the current state of affairs or develop strategies on how to move closer to their visions and values. In short, good leaders are not satisfied with acceptable performance.

Leaders cannot be silent. To achieve the full potential and maximize employee contributions, leaders need some restless dissatisfaction with the status quo, to encourage others to reach new heights. Whatever leaders and their units achieve will be the product of the behavior of those who work for them.

The fact of the matter is organizations are downsizing. There are fewer promotional opportunities and more career plateaus with increasing numbers of professional employees. Still many organizations have many good performers with no specific performance problems. These are all realities of modern organization life that contributes to the need for positive coaching skills. Since problem-solving coaching sessions produce a certain amount of stress, it is easy to think that most of the manager’s time will be spent in this type of session. This is not necessarily the case at all.

To put the two types of session into proper perspective, we believe effective mangers will spend 75% of their coaching time in positives session. The reason we emphasize the problem-solving session in our writing and coaching skills workshop is because this area is more challenging, confronting, and will tax the leader’s skills and patience heavily.

Steven J. Stowell, PhD is the co-founder of the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness.

To learn more about the 25 years of research CMOE has conducted around coaching skills, or to learn more about our books and program, contact our Regional Manager at (801) 569-3444.